I just feel like quitting!

Some days, I just feel like crying and giving up my dream of owning my own business. I keep feeling like my business is NOT moving forward. I think I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing, but I feel overwhelmed with everything.

Can you relate?

I’m trying to grow my business part-time while I am working full-time. I still have to make time learn how to grow my business, but there is sooooo much information that’s out there. I need to create content, set up email subscription, send out emails, reply to comments on my website and emails. On top of that, I have to make the meals, shop for groceries, clean the house (actually, I hire someone because I hate cleaning). I also need to spend time with my man, family and friends. And, then there’s exercise too.

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I’m so sorry…

I feel really bad. I have been neglecting my website. It’s not that i didn’t have anything going on. On the contrary. Lots of stuff, but I was writing them in my journals instead of online and also on Facebook.

Here’s whats been going on. If you recall, I created a bucket list and on that list I had to speak at events. So, I took the leap and posted on my facebook page that I was becoming a motivational speaker and asked people if they wanted me to speak at events. I didn’t get a response, but I got some suggestions for place to look. Thanks ladies.

I also sent out an email to a speaker asking her for advice on who’s a motivational speaker and..what does it take to be one. She replied back. She is very busy woman, so I was supper happen. When I first read the email I was  upset, but more hurt because it felt like she didn’t believe I could speak. But, when I read it again, and again, and one more time…juuuust to be sure I read it correctly, she was giving me great advice on ways to help me reach my goal. Thanks Rhonda. She was right. I needed to either have a topic to discuss and answer the question “why would people pay me to speak”. What makes me sooo wow? The first thought in my head was…”She’s right…who wants to hear what I have to say? Why would anyone with a brain whos already successful want to hear me”. But there is this little nagging voice that keeps saying to me…”just keep at it. Write the book.”

I was searching out Canadian motivational speakers when I found an article from Forbes called “There’s no such thing as a motivational speaker“. I was angry when I saw this because I KNOW there are speakers like that, but when I read the article, it completely made sense. They explain that the speaking is the activity and that i needed to find something that i was passionate about to speak on, have a topic that can help people,  then write a book about it, speak at events.

Wow, what a wake up call. I was doing this all backwards. I was putting “the cart before the horse”. In other words, I was trying to get speaking gigs without having a program, a book, or even something to talk about.

Does this sound like you? You hear speakers reach into your soul and you say to yourself “self, I want to do that. Yes, that’s what I want to do.” Maybe its just me who talks to herself like that? That’s exactly what I do…A LOT! I get an idea to do something…like speak and then start researching the idea, but nothing happens because it was feeling like this is soooo much work. I was struggling with finding a speech to write about, how to come up with the points to discuss, but after that article. I feel like now I am on the right path. First I am going to finish writing my book that I have been writing for almost 2 years and see what happens. I am writing it mainly for me as it was a way for me to release my feelings, but if it helps you, then I am even MORE happy.

 

Thanks.

Tina

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What I am meant to be doing with my life?

Are you feeling blah and not sure why or what to do?

For the past month, I have been feeling blah. I thought maybe I was feeling this way because I was exhausted and winter was here, which I am not a fan of. We went on a beautiful trip in February to Antigua. It was beautiful and relaxing, but when I came back I went right back to feeling blah. I thought it was because I didn’t like the way I looked, so I got a haircut, which did help😊 (this is not my new hair, but rather how I feel)

However, when I wake up to go to work that’s when I feel it the most. I feel a heavy heart. I’m angry and frustrated because I have not found work that makes me happy that I can do it daily.  Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for having a job, but that’s just it…A JOB. I feel like I am meant to be doing something else, but what else that is I don’t know.

I was given many opportunities to try new positions with government department. I was a Wellness coordinator and I liked it, minus a few events that made me feel nauseous, but it wasn’t permanent, and I was looking for better pay and working in a team. The one thing I didn’t like was working alone. While I dealt with people, I worked alone. I had no one to go for coffee with, to brainstorm ideas off of, except for the DG, which is not what I wanted to do. I truly believed in the workshops and I loved being at these events because I could see how it helped, but it wasn’t permanent.

Then there was the Awards Coordinator, which was a good position too, and very busy, but that one had way too much isolation for me. This job was mostly about contracts and promoting events, which was fun, but it was not for me. The most painful part about that job was writing speeches. I didn’t have the experience they needed and felt so incompetent and some of the people I worked with helped me feel that way too. This was a big part of the job and I didn’t know it would be when I took on the task. Well, I had nightmares about people getting upset with me because the speech was awful. So I told my boss that I no longer wanted the job and wish to go back to my old job because…I hated it. That was not a way I wanted to feel every day, hating to wake up, crying and not feeling supported.

So now I am at a job that is not challenging, and the people that come to see you are stressed because they are doing tests. I coordinate second language testing for employees. I am a positive person and feel it when people are stressed, so this job takes its toll on my health. I was also working in a separate office and that didn’t help with the emotions. I felt isolation. However, we now have everyone back on the team and it’s much better, and I am back in my old office where there are fun people who like their jobs.

So, the question I am asking myself is “what am I meant to be doing with my life?” well, I don’t know the answer yet, but I do know what I DON’T want to be doing which is working in a stressful or negative environment; being in isolation; doing repetitive work where I don’t get to voice my opinion; not working in a team; having no one to work with on a team; working in an area where people don’t support you or help you; working crazy hours; not being able to take a break and have someone watch the hours you work. That one I hate the most! I am not paid by hour, I am paid to get the job done!

So, what’s my next plan of action? I am going to find something else in another government department. I am going to send out my resume as suggested by my awesome friend Carol, to see if I can deploy to another department where they have opportunities and…do things I value like make the world or the city a better place.

If you know of a department that is looking for someone who likes technical, likes to deal with people, likes training and writing instructional guides, can juggle multiple things, and is willing to learn new skills, please pass along their name to me and I will GLADLY contact them. While I am currently a CR-04, I have been acting in many roles as an AS-03.

Now it’s your turn, if you’re feeling blah, look at why and come up with a small step as to what you can do to change it. Maybe you just need a day off to watch TV all day..DO IT! Maybe your body is sore and need to get a massage, but the hours are during work…DO IT! Maybe you’re like me and need a change of career, write down what you don’t like and then what you DO like and look for work that has those components and then, start making 1 call or email a day. Baby steps is for me the only way to go.

If you have other ways to help with the blah’s, please share in the comments below.

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Goal #7 Declutter – purging…starting with my closets

February is purging month, OK maybe March too because I have soooo much stuff.  The reason I started this goal was because of the book I’m reading called “The Happiness Project” by Grethchen Rubin. If you haven’t read it, you really need to get it. She’s got some great advice for each month. She talks about each project using herself and her family as the examples. I am loving it. In her book, January is the energy boosting month and one of the ways to do that is to declutter your space. If you want to buy it for cheaper, go to Amazon.ca and buy it used. After all, it’s not something you’re going to treasure forever. So, save your money and get it used.

Do you know what purging means?  For some, it may mean puking up what you just ate, but that’s not what I am talking about. I’m referring to getting rid of things you either no longer use, or are holding on to because it might come back, or because you spent money on it. That’s totally me! Holding on to it because I paid money, but the problem with that is it’s taking up space and making me angry because it’s just sitting there.

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Goal #3 – Make $1,000 a month with my business

Goal #3 – Make $1,000 a month with my business

So you might be asking, “Tina, how are you going to make $1,000 a month with a blog”? That’s a very good question.  The truth is I don’t know if I will make $1k a month with my blog, but I am sure going to try because I love writing my stories about my experiments or experiences. Speaking of which, some of you know but for those who don’t I wrote a book in 2014 about renting your cottage out and making a profit. It was a self published and I am super proud of it, thanks to my old friend Katrina Moy who helped me rewrite it over 90 TIMES! Well, it finally paid off. I received a check from Amazon for……$107.00! I couldn’t believe it. I finally got paid for all that effort.

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